Smosh block tango
by R3dHoodie
Summary: Come down and see the merry murderers of cell block C. They won't bite! (Much) *uses smoshgames characters*


Step right up and meet the six merry murderers of Penetentiary #225! You can see them any time, and if you come at the right time, they might even sing a song for you. They have to do something to liven up the cell block's grime, now don't they? Seriously, Mari wrote a love-note in the dust on the bench yesterday.

And if you happen to come at the right time and don't piss them off, this is mostly what you'll get. It's bizarre and strange, from the mind of six murderers, but don't say it's not entertaining. It might be nothing but entertaining!

They communicate that they want to do the song by taps on their cell walls. Sometimes it's with a shoe and others a knuckle, but it's always signaled with the opening beat of the song. It's not hard to make out, its four very synchopated beats. And then they all get into position. Want to see what you get, kid? Well here you go.

_Pop_

_Six_

_Squish_

_uh- uh_

_cisero_

_lipschitz_

They all pop up to greet you, the cell lights reflecting the bars very eerily onto their faces. Sometimes they make faces, sometimes they prefer not to. Either way, many people get frightened when they come out of nowhere and grab onto the cells. They make movements like they're trying to grab for you, though they never actually hurt anybody.

_Pop_

_six_

_squish_

_uh-uh_

_cisero_

_lipschitz_

They say this about four times. You'll find out what it means later, My'dear, until then just enjoy the show.

_They had it coming_

_they had it coming_

_they only had themselves to blame_

_if you'd have been there_

_if you'd have seen it_

_I betcha you would've done the same_

They all sing with fire in their voices and passion in their eyes. These are people who think they are innocent, no matter how guilty they are. Get ready, because some interesting stories are about to unfold. A button is hit and the cell doors go up halfway, though one of the murderer's is a little higher. Why do they let the doors go on these six murderers? Because they've never shown any interest in killing anybody besides the ones who died at their hand.

The first one who steps out is named Matthew Sohinki, but most of the males here are called by their last names or a variation thereof. And Matt is no different. He glides into the hallway and over to some chick, who's standing and patiently waiting.

_"You know how people have those little habits that get you down?"_ He hugged the girl and dipped her gently. _"Like Bernette. "_ She was lifted and practically thrown into the wooden chair. "_Bernette liked to chew gum"_ The way he says it makes him sound slightly disturbed, but only enough to senda shiver down your spine. He takes a pause. _"No, not chew, POP!" _He gets real close to his ear when he says pop, like he's informing whoever that is of a past wrongdoing. You'll notice even she flinches. That's not acting, My'dear.

"_So I come home this one day and I'm really irritated and I'm looking for some sympathy, and there's Bernette, lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing._ If Sohinki is in a deep state of mind, it seems like he talks directly to you. This is normal. Try not to be afraid, it only brings out a sneer upon their faces. _"No, not chewing. POPPING! _He seems to jump when he yells the word pop, almost like his body can't take the it cannot. He continues after looking over at the faces of everyone watching and moves closer to his cellmates.

_"So I said to him, I said if you pop that gum one more time.."_ He now has a true smirk on his face. _"And he did. So I took the shotgun off of the wall and I fired two warning shots." _Bernette is now standing up, and he leans into her while raising one leg as high as it would go. She keeps herself stable as this happens. _"Into her head." _

The chorus starts up with their "he had it coming, but really look at Sohinki here. He dips her backward and then guides her in sort of an arch. As she gets up, he spins her out and they keep spinning each other like this until they're almost to the end of the hall. They continue to tango as the others dance with the cell doors.

Mari somehow managed to hook her feet in and was hanging upside down, swinging off of the door like an awful pantomime of a child on a playground swing. Anthony is traveling from cell to doorway, climbing on the door like one of the zombies in World War Z. Ian and Lasercorn formed somewhat like a kickline between them, kicking in time from the different cells. Jovenshire- or Joshua is his given name, would have his back to you, tapping out the beat with his foot. He seems to be the least rowdy of the group. In fact, Jovenshire is the next one up. Hear the story well.

He walks right up to his girl and puts one arm around her, turning her a bit and dipping her. He has to get on his knees to place her onto the floor, but he does this. _"I met Ezzy Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago._ He walks over like Sohinki and tells his story right to you. They are in no means shy. In the least. _"And she told me she was single. And we hit it off right away. _At this she tries to run into his arms, but he dodges the embrace and turns her around, allowing her to execute four perfect turns while he talks.

_"So we started living together." _This one of the only times you'll hear regret in any of their voices. _"She'd go to work, she'd come home, I'd fix her a drink, some dinner." _He's hugging her now, as if they made up, but all is not well, he does a ballet move and sweeps her ankles off of the floor, grabbing her collar and squatting so she was facedown on the floor and he was right in front of her.

_"And then I found out. Single she told me? Single my ass. Not only was she married." _He got up and did the same ballet move, just barely touching her cheek. _"Oh, no. She had six husbands. One of those Mormons, ya know? So that night when she came home from work I fixed her her drink, as usual." _He walks a couple of steps away and smiles. Ezzy continues to lay on the floor. A strange smile crosses his face. _"Ya know, some girls just can't hold their arsenic."_

The two men continued to tango with their partners while the others sang the opening words over and over. If it's starting to sound like a war chant, that's actually the reason two observers had to leave.

Anyway, the men's tango looks sort of like a fight if you're unfamiliar with the art of dance altogether. It's a very passionate and artsy fight, however.

_She had it coming_

_She had it coming_

_She took a flower in it's prime_

_and then she used it_

_and she abused it_

_it was a murder, but not a crime_

Ian was the next one out, going right up to his girl like Joven did. But he didn't hug her. He just walked around her threateningly. "_Now I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up a chicken for dinner, minding my own buisness."_ He was the least touchy on his person, just doing turns while he walked around his girl. _And in comes my wife, Wilma in a jealous rage! You've been screwing the post lady, she says. She was crazy. And she kept on screaming, you been screaming the post lady!" _He takes a pause to laugh. _"And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times._

The tango continues and the people in the backround comtinue dancing. Lasercorn is now alone, in his kickline. Mari swings up and grabs the top, letting herself down and dancing with the bars like everyone else. It's her turn anyway.

_Nani ga koko ni iru nodesu ka? Karera wa watashi ga kare no atama o kiriotoshinagara watashi no yūmeina koibito wa watashi no otto o osaeta to iu. Shikashi, sore wa watashi ga mujitsuda, shinjitsude wa arimasen. Ankurusamu wa, watashi wa sore o yatta to iu ka watashi wa shiranai. Watashi wa keisatsusho de sore o setsumeishiyō to shitaga, karera wa watashi o rikai shite inakatta._

Her story is obviously different. She's speaking all in Japenese, and her tango looks more like a ballet. Close inspection of her feet reveal that she's wearing pointe shoes. The ballet is beautiful, the story of a girl and a guy, though it gets morbid when she places him onto the ground and does the same move Jovenshire did to make it look like she chopped off his head.

The proper thing to say here is _"did you do it?"_ She always responds with _"Uh-uh. Not Guilty!"_

This is where things start to slow down, the dance becomes more of a slow dance instead of the fast-paced tango it was. In the middle of the dance, Anthony steps out.

"_My Brother Vernie and I had this double act. And my wife Charlotte traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, backflips, flip-flops one after the other. _He took some time to do only the arms for the tricks while his two assistants demonstrated said tricks in full. It's a very nice display, don't you think?

_"So this one night before a show, we're down at the hotel Cisero." _Anthony's dance is simple, he walks with the people up to you and sits down next to you. Don't be afraid. They're trying to be nice. _"The three of us, Boozing, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice. So I go out to get some. I come back, open the door.." _The assistants_ get up and head to the middle of the isle. "And there's Vernie and Charlotte, doing number 17." _The assistants dance around each other before the girl sits the boy down in a chair. _"The spread eagle!" _The assistants kindly demonstrated. Anthony laughed and walked back over, resting his knee on the bench and facing you. He stares right into your eyes. Do not look away.

_"Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead._

_They had it coming!  
They had it coming!0_

_They had it coming all along!_

_I didn't do it_

_But if I done it_

_How could you tell me that I was wrong?!_

Everyone did a few turns and then jumped back so they were facing forward. This was the grand part of the dance. Anthony was the lead, singing his chorus over again, while the others sing the chorus about a flower in it's prime. Now Laercorn was the last to sing.

_"I loved my wife Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. She was a real artistic girl, sensative, a painter. But he was always tryna find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way she found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irving. I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive, and I saw him dead._

They all ran together again, singing the actual bridge of the song.

_The dirty bum bum bum bum bum_

_ the dirty bum bum bum bum bum_

And then they perhaps broke into the most fiery and empowered chorus, sung in a round. Everyone was glaring, jumping on the cell doors and using the bottom handles to slide under. The partners came and they started dancing again. It was amazing.

A bell rings and they finish their last move. The cell doors slide up one by one and as each one leaves the isle for the rec room, they say their line.

_You pop that gun one more time_

_Single my ass_

_ten times_

_Uncle Sam_

_number 17, the spread eagle_

_artistic differences_

* * *

A/N- the actual song is from a musical called Chicago. They're known as the murderesses, but in SmoshGames there's one girl. So they're the muderers. I had to change the names a bit, so pretend that Ezzy is short for Elizabeth. Also, don't try translating the Japanese, It's from a broken Hungarian translation so it won't much make sense.

Hope you liked it!


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